Much Ado About Nothing Thou Art a Quiet Watchman

Much Ado Almost Nothing Translation Act 4, Scene 2

Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and SEXTON, in gowns; and the Spotter, with CONRAD and BORACHIO

DOGBERRY

Is our whole dissembly appeared?

DOGBERRY

Is our whole dissembly here now?

VERGES

Oh, a stool and a absorber for the Sexton.

VERGES

Oh, but nosotros need a stool and a cushion for the sexton.

A stool is brought in. SEXTON sits.

SEXTON

Which exist the malefactors?

SEXTON

Which ones are the malefactors?

DOGBERRY

Marry, that am I and my partner.

DOGBERRY

Well, that would be me and my partner.

VERGES

Nay, that's certain; we have the exhibition to examine.

VERGES

Yes, that'southward sure—nosotros've been exhibitioned to examine this example.

SEXTON

But which are the offenders that are to be examined? Let them come up before Chief Constable.

SEXTON

Only which ones are the criminals to be examined? Permit them come earlier the Master Constable.

DOGBERRY

Yea, marry, allow them come earlier me.

DOGBERRY

Aye, well, bring them earlier me.

BORACHIO and CONRAD come forward

What is your name, friend?

What is your proper noun, friend?

DOGBERRY

Pray, write down, "Borachio."—Yours, sirrah?

DOGBERRY

[To the SEXTON] Please, write down "Borachio."

[To CONRAD] And yours, sir?

CONRAD

I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrad.

CONRAD

I am a admirer, sir. And my name is Conrad.

DOGBERRY

Write downward "Main Admirer Conrad."—Masters, practise yous serve God?

DOGBERRY

[To the SEXTON] Write downwardly "Master Admirer Conrad."

[To CONRAD and BORACHIO] Sirs, exercise you obey God's laws?

CONRAD, BORACHIO

Yea, sir, nosotros hope.

CONRAD, BORACHIO

Yep sir, we hope we do.

DOGBERRY

Write down that they promise they serve God; and write God first, for God defend but God should go before such villains! —Masters, it is proved already that you are petty better than faux knaves, and it will become almost to be idea so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?

DOGBERRY

[To the SEXTON] Write downwards that they hope they obey God's laws. And write "God" first, for God forbid that such villains should come up before God!

[To CONRAD and BORACHIO] Sirs, it has already been proven that you're no ameliorate than lying villains—and soon we'll suspect you of it likewise. What exercise you have to say for yourselves?

CONRAD

Marry, sir, nosotros say we are none.

CONRAD

Indeed, sir, that we aren't villains.

DOGBERRY

A marvelous witty fellow, I assure you, just I will become about with him.—Come you hither, sirrah, a word in your ear. Sir, I say to you it is thought you lot are false knaves.

DOGBERRY

He'due south a marvelously witty young man, I assure you, but I'll go the better of him.

[To BORACHIO] Come here, sir, and I'll whisper a word in your ear. Sir, I say that yous are both suspected of being lying villains.

BORACHIO

Sir, I say to you lot we are none.

BORACHIO

And I say that we are not, sir.

DOGBERRY

Well, stand aside.—'Fore God, they are both in a ale. Accept you lot writ down that they are none?

DOGBERRY

Well, step aside then.

[To the SEXTON] By God, they've both agreed to the same lie. Have you written that downwards, that they aren't lying villains?

SEXTON

Chief Constable, you go not the manner to examine. You must call forth the picket that are their accusers.

SEXTON

Principal Lawman, this isn't the right way to conduct an examination. First you lot must call along the watchmen who accused them.

DOGBERRY

Yea, marry, that'south the eftest way.—Let the sentry come forth. Masters, I accuse you in the Prince'due south name, accuse these men.

DOGBERRY

Yes, well, that'south the easiest mode.

[To the WATCHMEN] Let the watchmen stride forrard. Sirs, I order you in the Prince'south name to accuse these men.

FIRST WATCHMAN

This homo said, sir, that Don John, the Prince'south blood brother, was a villain.

FIRST WATCHMAN

Sir, this homo said that Don John, the Prince'due south blood brother, was a villain.

DOGBERRY

Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince's brother villain.

DOGBERRY

Write down that Prince John was a villain. Why, thats flat-out perjury, to call a prince'south blood brother a villain.

BORACHIO

Chief Constable—

BORACHIO

Main Lawman—

DOGBERRY

Pray thee, fellow, peace. I practise not like thy look, I promise thee.

DOGBERRY

Please, man, be quiet. I don't like the look of you, I promise yous that.

SEXTON

[to Watch] What heard you him say else?

SEXTON

[To the WATCHMEN] What else did you hear him say?

SECOND WATCHMAN

Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.

Second WATCHMAN

Well, that he had received a 1000 aureate pieces from Don John for wrongfully accusing the Lady Hero.

DOGBERRY

Flat break-in as ever was committed.

DOGBERRY

That'southward burglary if anything e'er was.

VERGES

Yea, by Mass, that it is.

VERGES

Yes, by God, it is.

SEXTON

What else, fellow?

SEXTON

And what else, man?

FIRST WATCHMAN

And that Count Claudio did mean upon his words to disgrace Hero earlier the whole assembly, and not marry her.

FIRST WATCHMAN

And that Count Claudio—based on Don John'southward allegation—was going to disgrace Hero before the whole wedding assembly, and refuse to marry her.

DOGBERRY

[to BORACHIO] O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.

DOGBERRY

[To BORACHIO] Oh, you villain! You lot'll exist condemned to everlasting redemption for this!

FIRST WATCHMAN

This is all.

Commencement WATCHMAN

That's all.

SEXTON

And this is more than, masters, than yous can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stolen abroad. Hero was in this manner defendant, in this very manner refused, and upon the grief of this, suddenly died. —Master Lawman, let these men be bound and brought to Leonato's. I will go before and show him their test.

SEXTON

[To BORACHIO and CONRAD] And all this is more than you can deny, sirs. This morning Prince John secretly fled Messina. Hero was defendant and refused past Claudio just as the watchman reported, and she died from her sudden grief.

[To DOGBERRY] Primary Lawman, tie these men up and bring them to Leonato'southward. I'll go ahead of you lot and show him the written report of this examination.

DOGBERRY

Come, let them be opinioned.

DOGBERRY

Come, permit's opinion them.

VERGES

Let them exist in the hands—

VERGES

Let them be handcuffed.

CONRAD

Go off of me, y'all fool!

DOGBERRY

God'south my life, where'south the Sexton? Permit him write downward the Prince'due south officeholder "coxcomb." Come, demark them.—Thousand naughty varlet!

DOGBERRY

God save me, where'south the sexton? He ought to write downwardly that the Prince'southward officer was called "fool." Come on, demark them.

[To CONRAD] Y'all wicked rascal!

CONRAD

Abroad! You are an ass, you lot are an donkey!

CONRAD

Get away from me! You are an ass, you are an ass!

DOGBERRY

Dost 1000 not suspect my place? Dost thou not doubtable my years? Oh, that he were here to write me downwards an ass! But masters, remember that I am an ass, though it be non written down, yet forget not that I am an donkey. —No, g villain, thousand art full of piety, equally shall be proved upon thee by skilful witness. I am a wise beau and, which is more, an officeholder and, which is more than, a householder and, which is more than, as pretty a piece of mankind as any is in Messina, and i that knows the law, get to, and a rich young man enough, become to, and a fellow that hath had losses, and 1 that hath two gowns and everything handsome about him. —Bring him away.—Oh, that I had been writ down an ass!

DOGBERRY

How dare you! Don't you lot suspect my position? Don't you lot doubtable my age? Oh, if only the sexton were hither to write down that I'm an ass! But sirs, remember that I am an ass, even though it wasn't written down—don't forget that I am an ass.

[To CONRAD] No, you villain, you are full of piety , as witnesses volition prove. I'yard a wise young man and—what's more—an officeholder and—what'southward more—a homeowner and—what's more—every bit fine a mortal man equally any in Messina. And I know the police, damn you, and I'm rich plenty, damn yous! And I've known hardships, and I have two pairs of robes, and everything nigh me is impressive.

[To the WATCHMEN] Take him away!

Oh, if only it had been written down that I'thousand an ass!

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Source: https://www.litcharts.com/shakescleare/shakespeare-translations/much-ado-about-nothing/act-4-scene-2

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